Technology Break

I am not going to preach gloom and doom about young people's use of technology. It is a vital part of their future in ways many parents cannot comprehend. It offers huge potential to help keep our kids connected to one another, the world at large and the vast amount of information available in an infinite about of subjects. And to us!

Technology just...is. But it is naive to think that the developers of gadgets and games have not set out deliberately to make them as addictive as possible. And the constant desire to check in to social media or update emails and messages is a real challenge for people of all generations.

The most frightening aspect, in my view, is the access to images and material of extreme sexual or violent content. It is impossible to un-see things are peer pressure makes behaviour like sexting commonplace. Risk-taking is a common teenage practise and dangers abound.

Parents worry about their children becoming addicted to drugs and alcohol - but the same brain impulses are at work when they hook into their phones, tablets, gaming consoles and PCs. Children as young as 13 are being treated for addiction to digital tech. Around two thirds of teachers believe their pupils are sharing sexual content; one in six of these is still at primary school.

There are alarming statistics everywhere about the amount of screen time young people have each day and the consequent effects on their sleep, confidence and general wellbeing. Cyber-bullying is well reported. Technology, like most things, can be used or abused but, while adults can generally make informed decisions about how they use it, children are undoubtedly at significant emotional risk.

Many parents tell me they worry about their child's relationship with tech. Most parents have noticed the effect of prolonged use of a videogame or smartphone and describe how the child seems "in a kind of trance", disconnected from the real world and unpredictable or moody. This disconnection is the very opposite of mindfulness. But what can you do? If you are a young person aware of any negative changes in your mood or behaviour after playing games, you might be looking for advice on how to take a break. Here are some suggestions.

If you are a parent, model good use yourself. Are you addicted to your phone? Always checking your emails? Be honest! If your kids see you make good choices about tech use and see you reading a book or newspaper they will be more likely to accept your suggestions/rules.
Have a family discussion - not a family row - about all your habits. Include some facts and figures about the effects of excessive use. Young people are pretty reasonable as long as they don't suspect hypocrisy or the ultimate sin of thinking you know better. Listen to your children's point of view.
Can you agree to try out some new behaviours? No phones at the table/during meals. No use of tech an hour before bed. No gaming until homework is out of the way. Create your own guidelines that everyone can agree to try out. Or even...shock...horror - a total technology break for a day.
Sundays are usually good days to choose for a tech break. Rather than everyone moping around like they have lost a limb you need to find some alternative activity. Agree to all be without your gadgets for the whole or part of the day. Then, wherever you live or whatever your budget, have some fun. Get outside somewhere you can see the sky and take in some fresh air. Play board games if it's wet. Visit friends or family. Bake a cake. Kick a ball about in the park. Take a bus or train trip somewhere. Go swimming, play badminton. Invite friends over for some party games. Visit a museum or local attraction. There are hundreds of ways people used to pass the time before videogames and phones came along - it can be a rejuvenating experience for everyone and you might find you want to repeat it regularly! Talk about it afterwards: what was hard? what did you enjoy? how could you adapt it on another occasion?
A guiding principle of mindfulness is one of enquiry, seeing what is happening for us, in the moment. Mindful awareness of the role and use of technology in our lives may lead us to make better choices quite naturally. As mindful practice encourages us to be truly awake, we may well be less likely to choose activities that numb us or put us into a trance-like state.