Retreat

Retreat is a word we are seeing and hearing more often than ever before. Holiday

cottages advertise themselves as retreats; hotels and resorts offer spa break retreats; I recently read about a London hotel offering retreats for new mothers and their babies. Retreats are being offered for every kind of activity from yoga to meditation, poetry writing to painting.

Clearly there is a growing need for the kind of solitary – and not so solitary - activity that gives us space and peace; gives us a break from our everyday lives.

Sales of Stafford Whittaker’s book show us just how popular retreat is in our modern world. The hectic pace of life, increasing anxiety about the state of our fragile planet, the loss of faith in many of our traditional structures and the ironic increase in feelings of isolation and loneliness while technology purports to bring us all closer together – all these factors are leading increasing numbers of people to step away from their ordinary lives, albeit temporarily, and to see what lies within them.

Retreat marks an acknowledgement and commitment to your inner life. We all have one! It is the place where our desires and fears rampage around. Whether we are aware of it or not, the state of our inner life governs our outer life. Successful people, we observe, have focus and positivity and self-belief. At the same time we can identify with those whose low self esteem and negative beliefs have given them a life of disappointment or worse.

Acknowledging your inner life and your desire to temporarily escape your outer life isn't always easy. As French philosopher Blaise Pascal, wrote: “The sole cause of man’s unhappiness is that he does not know how to stay quietly in his room.” It can be hard to choose to turn your attention inwards when the focus of life is external. But if you feel you need to retreat, where can you start?

Essentially, you can design the practicalities of a retreat in any way you choose by arranging accommodation and travel to suit you. You will need to consider the time available to you; how far you want to travel; do you want activities or the freedom to choose how you spend the time?; country or city?; what should you take?; alone or with a friend or family member?.

Commerce is stepping in and taking advantage of the modern need for ‘me time’ but there are many establishments committed to helping people take a retreat and they come from a rich and diverse history. The spiritual retreat has been around for centuries and has an established foothold in most cultures and religions. I was introduced to the concept by Buddhist friends who make an annual retreat to a special centre. Former monk, Stafford Whittaker, writes in his bestseller The Good Retreat Guide about:

the growing millions who are going on retreat who do not belong to any one faith, any one religion or spiritual way. These are pilgrim seekers – asking questions, finding answers and reclaiming spiritual traditions and practices as their own heritage.

The modern organised retreat may well involve yoga, healing or any number of therapeutic activities. It is likely to be located in a place of natural beauty and in peaceful surroundings. City centre retreats also exist and are often in old or sacred buildings that have been converted for use and thus can offer a distance between the busy life outside the walls and a peaceful environment within.

The organised retreat will involve other people and is likely to see shared meals, often prepared by everyone. It may have periods of set silence or facilitated talking sessions. The time spent in retreat can be used wisely in many ways and everyone will be aware of their own requirements and inclinations.

Regardless of where and with whom you spend your retreat, to hold true to the original sacred requirement of a retreat is to undertake contemplation. This is not for everyone and some people will get what they need by retreating from ordinary life and recharging their batteries in a health spa for a few days. We're all different and our needs change according to what's going on in our lives and our current mental health status. If you are at a stage when you feel the need for a more meaningful experience, you may benefit greatly from taking the time to stop and think deeply.

Contemplation is essentially about entering into an open and honest dialogue with yourself. It can come about during prayer or meditation. It can come about while engaging in writing, painting or any creative activity. But all it requires is a commitment to think about any or all aspects of your life. Contemplation can take place while sitting alone, while walking somewhere inspiring or peaceful; or in any number of ways when a person finds they are relaxed and safe. Remember to try to treat yourself with compassion, patience and kindness when thinking about difficult or painful issues. If you find it's more normal to beat yourself up, you could imagine you are in dialogue with someone else or with a younger version of yourself, maybe even yourself as a child.

Questions that you could find yourself asking during a period of contemplation include:

Where is my life going?
What has gone wrong/right in my life?
What have I achieved/not yet achieved in my life?
What would I like to change?
Am I happy?
Am I healthy?
What areas of my life need healing?
What matters most to me?
What do I most want to do?

While away from the distractions of daily life and in a nurturing environment, listen carefully to your inner voice. It may have a lot to tell you. Taking a journal along to record your thoughts is essential. Contemplation is a powerful tool. It can change your life. You may not return to your old ways following a period of such introspection. Your experience may prove the wise words of philosopher William James:

The greatest revolution of our times is the discovery that human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.

I wish anyone undertaking a retreat the very best of times. Put yourself first for a short time. For many people this will be difficult and counter-intuitive. Be brave! Honour yourself.